[Part I of IV]

North Pole – Christmas is ruined as doctor for reindeer team recommends Rudolph use secret solution to clear up red, inflamed nose. Rudolph’s easy breathing resulted in no more nose-so-bright, leading to a disastrous night on Santa’s sleigh.

Without the visual guidance, St. Nick completely missed the northern U.S. states and the whole of Canada. One child, who asked for a gallon of grade A maple syrup, had to settle for what his frantic parents could find at the store—a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s Thick and Rich Syrup. Needless to say, little Liam’s hopes for a quality pancake breakfast on Christmas morn were dashed, all thanks to Rudolph.

[Part II of IV]

St. Nick also reported a near collision with a Boeing 747 coming out of Seattle. Our team caught up with Donnor who almost lost an antler on the plane’s wingtip.

“As soon as I got back to the North Pole, I immediately stomped out Rudolph’s name on the list for Reindeer Game Night. He’s never to going beat me in Monopoly by squandering my attempts to get Park Place and Boardwalk again.”

However, Hermey the Dentist is on Rudolph’s side. He says Rudolph can do away with the red nose and still guide the sleigh. His solution is having Rudolph chew xylitol gum to brighten up his smile.

“Gleaming white teeth are sure to shine the way through the thickest fog,” Hermey says. We will have to wait and see if Rudolph adopts the new protocol.

[Part III of IV]

In what is being called the worst Christmas disaster since the Milk Incident in the 60’s, the citizens of the North Pole furiously blame Rudolph for his selfish attitude. Elf teams are scrambling to figure out a way to right the wrong, even going as far as suggesting a collaboration with Amazon Prime, since it seems to be faster and more dependable than a bunch of flying animals. St. Nick thinks that maybe Prime’s rumored drone delivery service could be the way of the future. [Part IV of IV]

Rudolph is trying to figure out how to fix the problem too, believing he can develop a more practical way to light the sleigh. When asked if he would ever stop using the secret spray to regain his red nose he answered with a flat “No.”

“I just feel too good when I use Xlear. Plus, I thought if I breathed better, I’d fly better,” the ostracized Rudolph said. “I was just trying to make sure we met deadlines.”

And in fact, he did fly faster—right past The Great White North. In the end, the Red-Nosed Reindeer will shine no more in the memories of young children. Instead, he will go down in history not for saving the day, but for ruining the magic of the season.

Rudolph Ruins Christmas As Nose Is Red No More
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