Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

The many bright and delicious candies bucketed galore—

While resisting, nearly staving, suddenly came a bad craving

As if persuading, persuading me open my pie-hole door.

“’Tis a smidgeon,“ I said, “serenading me open my door.

Only one and nothing more.”

Then, clearly I remembered what the dentist said in September,

A forewarning mentioned after seeing my pearly whites worn.

Eagerly I wished I’d not eaten—in my mouth put the treat in

The orange, white, yellow cretin—cretin known as candy corn.

Tempting but at once displeasing, tooth-destroying candy corn,

Nameless here until the morn.

But the delicious candy, now grouped together so unblandly

Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic urges never felt before.

So now, to still my salivating, I stood there advocating

“Dreadful things in my teeth you are creating, things I abhor.

If keep eating I do, holes therein burning acid will bore

Darkness there and nothing more.”

In the closet the candy went, my will to abstain nearly spent,

The fears of needles and drills entering my mind from before

“Surely,” said I, “he will not use his horrendous apparatus

‘Cause no cavity in my teeth thereat is. I’ll have no more.

Let my heart be still a moment. Cavities I’ll have no more.

I will not go through that gore.”

Then I saw something curious, a figure I thought spurious.

The M&M man caught my eye from the package on the floor.

My heart went leaping, for the printed red figure was a’creeping

Telling me to go reaping, reaping for the candy galore.

“I ask you to leave. Begone favorite candy from days of yore!”

Quoth M&M, “Nevermore.”

“Fiend!” said I, “thing of evil! You seem so good but are from the devil.

Whether Tempter sent, or with my dissolving resolve will war

You have your tastiness flaunted, leaving me utterly daunted,

In this home by flavor have haunted—I’ve endured but what for?

Is there—? Is there a way to health?—Tell me—tell me, I implore!”

Quoth M&M, “Nevermore.”

And the candy, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

Until I remembered. Remembered something I’d learned before.

Use Spry Gum for cleaning, healthy ingredients intervening

Happy, goodness convening, so you can enjoy candy more!

And my soul from that dark shadow like a raven did soar.

“Dental caries. Nevermore.”

Related Post